For the third year in a row, I sat down behind my laptop in my comfy clothes and watched Oscar Fashion 2013 like a total armchair critic. You can read all my live updates here on my Facebook Page, which was my command central and from where I posted my comments live. For a quick recap of the highlights, you can read here.
Overall, I felt like the evening started out with such promise. I tuned in to ABC at 7pm to watch the red carpet arrivals and found Kristin Chenowith adorable, Kelly Rowland a standout in her black and white Donna Karan origami sheath and felt inspired by Robin Roberts in her gorgeous blue Marc Bouwer gown.
Knowing that the Oscars is normally a free-for-all for criticism and snark, I wondered if, given how the night began, I would be quieted by the fact that everyone looked so good.
Oscar Fashion 2013- Catherine Zeta Jones and Amanda Seyfried Redeemed Themselves
Stars like Catherine Zeta Jones and Amanda Seyfried, who I panned at the Golden Globes, totally redeemed themselves. The Oscars, it seemed, was going to be a night of fashion second chances.
The night continued with some of my standout favorites like
If I were to attend the Oscars, this is exactly what my dress would look like. Oh Armani Prive, I love thee.
Jennifer Lawrence looked stunning in a Dior Haute Couture dress, a Chopard jewels, a Roger Vivier clutch, and Brian Atwood shoes. When these photos were taken, she had no idea that she would win for Best Actress for Silver Linings Playbook, or that she would stumble up the stairs to accept her award. Poor thing. She did recover nicely and even made a joke about it.
Sandra Bullock was a definite standout favorite of mine in Elie Saab.
Zoe Saldana’s dress by Alexis Mabille Couture was a true favorite of mine. To get how much I loved it, I saw Nina Simone in concert twice before she died. When I found out that Saldana will be playing Simone in an upcoming biopic, my comment seemed fitting. Although, I’m glad I’m not the only one surprised by the casting choice of Zoe Saldana for the role of Nina Simone.
Jennifer Garner’s purple Gucci gown seemed to create a great divide among viewers. Personally, I loved it. I liked the ruffles going down her back but did giggle when I read that some said she looked like a big purple dinosaur with the back detail. I don’t know, I found the detail interesting and loved the color.
Oscar Fashion 2013- When Things Started Getting Ugly
Right about the time when Kristin Chenoweth calling every celebrity she interviewed “baby” and took her shoes off for the 49th time to compare her height to those she was interviewing, the gowns started to become questionable.
You may be wondering why I am putting Jennifer Aniston’s Valentino dress, in his classic red color, on my ‘meh’ list. While the photos can’t explain it, this video of her, being interviewed by Lara Spencer, can. When they cut to Aniston, her dress just made the bottom half of her body look huge. Another reason her look annoyed me is because she has been in a hair fashion rut for like, what, 15 years now?
And, speaking of a dress doing weird things to your body. Reese Witherspoon’s dress by Louis Vuitton, was a knockout from far away. What I didn’t like was when the cameras got in close and the black paneling in the back, not only looked out of place, but did weird things to her body. In fact, rumors started swirling on my Facebook page that she might be pregnant.
When you consider the whack-a-doo fashion that Nicole Kidman has worn on the red carpet, I actually like this dress by L’Wren Scott. I actually really liked it last night, but, viewing that doohickey at her waist in this photo today, my rating of her just went down a few notches. I feel like this is always how Nicole Kidman does it; she gets close but then there is some element that ruins it.
When I looked at Naomi Watts dress by Armani Prive, I immediately wanted to like it, yet, the longer I looked at it I thought it looked like her dress was missing a puzzle piece. Instead of looking fresh and interesting, I thought it looked odd and awkward.
Oscar Fashion 2013- The Horrible Misses
Let’s now turn to who I think missed the boat.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that Anne Hathaway started to grate on my nerves or how she has managed to irritate most people these days. I remember loving her when she carried the Oscars herself and James Franco took a nap or was stoned, or both. I hate that we do this to celebrities. We applaud them on the way up and, at some point, toss them on the discard pile.
And, speaking of the discard pile. What was this dress; this butcher apron, ill-fitted, washed out, pointy-booby dress? Rumor has it that she made a last minute choice to go with this Prada dress instead of the Valentino (her go-to designer) when she found out Amanda Seyfried was wearing something similar, but I don’t know if that is true. Probably not.
And it wasn’t only her dress that bugged the crap out of me, it was that necklace that fought the neckline that was too high.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Give Them to Renee Zellweger
There is a lot of speculation about what happened to Renee Zellweger last night. Some are saying she was drunk, others think she got hit in the face with a shovel of Botox. This is what my husband thinks:
And, yes, I realized today that I spelled her name wrong all night long.
Bradley Cooper’s Mom
It’s horrible to make fun of anyone’s mother, especially when it is the woman who gave birth to such a fine specimen like Bradley Cooper, but, really, what the heck was this woman wearing? She claimed she just threw something on from her closet. Hmm, perhaps she should have turned the lights on in there, too?
I’m sorry, I know there was staunch disagreement on my opinion of Halle Berry’s dress by Versace, but I hated it. Well, let me rephrase that. I hated it on her. To me, the dress just looked too mature for her and the shoulders were scary.
From the neck up, I hope to look as good as Jane Fonda looks when I am her age. I just really hated the color of her Atelier Versace dress. Otherwise, the style, shape and the way the dress worked with her toned nearing octogenarian body was perfect.
Last, but not least, I want to talk about Kristen Stewart whose dress was gorgeous but whose behavior, ratty hair, aloof demeanor and gimpy walked had everyone talking last night.
Now, I am the last person on the planet to run to the defense of this woman. Personally, I don’t see the appeal, and find her awkward cadence, and the fact that she sounds like she has a chicken bone stuck in her throat when she talks, annoying. Yet, while watching her on the red carpet last night, I saw her one leg twitching constantly. While it could be that it was her foot was hurting from the piece of glass she stepped on a few days ago (or the fact that she was as high as a kite), watching this video, I actually think, whatever it was, she is just plain uncomfortable and anxious with the media. I never really thought about what it must be like to walk down the red carpet from a celebrity’s perspective but, watching that video, damn how annoying.
However, regardless of that, if this is to be her life, I really think she needs to learn how to deal with it better, learn a little graciousness and how to not come off as such a twitty a-hole in front of the cameras. And, who was the Einstein who suggested she limp onto the stage to present? She would have been better off using the crutches.
Oh, and a little aside, does anyone else wonder if this will be Kristen Stewart in about 15 years?
God, I love this crazy woman.
Tell me your thoughts on Oscar Fashion 2013! What did you think? Check out my Facebook Page for more commentary and for what others thought of the fashion seen at last night’s Oscars.