Today’s post is going to be brief.  Yesterday, my website was hacked.  This eventually happens to just about every website, but knowing this doesn’t help the emotions when it actually happens to you.

When I first realized what happened I got a sinking feeling.  Following that, after realizing I was way under-qualified to fix it myself and would probably have to spend the entire day not only figuring out what exactly went wrong but searching endlessly online on how to repair what happened, panic and dread set in.  Finally, frustration and absolute anger, when I knew the day was shot doing things I had no intentions of doing instead of getting things I needed to.  Added to all this, I have a few other things going on in my life that has basically made me a ticking time bomb lately, so this added layer of tech hell was really unwelcome.  Not that there is any good time to have your website hacked.  Thankfully, I have a friend who is a bit of a WordPress wizard who was able to work on and fix what would have basically taken me forever to do, while also keeping me from thrashing my laptop against the wall.  This still doesn’t mean that I’m not woefully behind and in a really bad mood.

Life is such a pain in the ass sometimes.

Anyway, enough of my problems, let’s talk about yours, shall we?  Today it is all about belts and scarves.

Following up my post from last week on accessorizing, I asked some of my Facebook subscribers to share their biggest accessorizing challenges with me.  In last week’s post, I focused on one question, and this week I am going to be tackling a few of them with answers and links to past posts I have done on the topics.  Let’s get started.


Belts and Scarves

I got a few questions about belts:

Dawn asked:

Belts! skinny or wide, any belt around my waist make me feel huge. But, at least in England, EVERY magazine will tell you to belt to define your waist!

Jeri asked:

Belts. I stopped wearing them when they went out of style 10 years or so ago and now I feel silly when I put one on. I keep hearing my mother say ‘she looks like a sack of fat with a string around the middle’. Menopause is quickly approaching and have that alien thing on my stomach that Kim Johnson Gross talks about in What to Wear for the Rest of Your Life.

Belts are tough for a lot of women.  In theory, they are amazing.  They cinch the waist, create body balance, offer waist definition without having to tuck in a shirt, and so on.  But what nobody tells you is that belts can be a huge pain in the butt…or waist, I should say.  They spin, can be uncomfortable when you sit, don’t always keep a shirt cinched, can create dreaded back fat and potentially make you look like “a sack of fat with a string around the middle.”  That visual is hilarious.

So what does this mean, exactly?  Well, I’m not suggesting you abandon belts, but I do think you need to choose the right ones for your body shape.  To avoid giving advice that I have already given on this topic, here is a blog post I wrote two years ago about all the different belt shapes, who they flatter, how they should be worn and what body types look best in them.  If you still have any other belt questions feel free to ask them in the comments below.


Scarves and belts

I feel like there will never be enough scarf information out there to satisfy everyone.  I have written many times on the topic of scarves, but I still get questions.  Here are some I received:

Lynn Maria asked:

Scarves bug me. And I wear them a lot, at least in the cooler months. (Too hot for them in our Florida summers!) I bought a book with dozens of ways to tie them and even own several scarf clips that I use sometimes, but I always seem to revert to the same few ways that seem to stay in place a little better and be a good complement to the types of shirts I wear. And I still end up having to mess with them more than I’d like.

I don’t think Lynn Maria is alone with this.  Every woman seems to be on the hunt for the thousands of different ways she can tie a scarf but often reverts back to the few simple ways to do it.  While I love all those cute tutorials, they sort of remind me of those life hack blog posts that show you how you can use the most common of household products to make your life easier.  All good ideas, in theory, but nobody really takes the time to implement them.  My advice to Lynn Maria is this: unless the few ways you are tying your scarves is really bothering you let it go and stick with what works.  Often, when women tie scarves in all these peculiar and carefully knotted ways they just feel fussy.  If this is you Lynn Maria, just let it go and stick with what works.

As far as messing with them, make sure your scarves aren’t super huge or bulky.  I find it easier to wear scarves that drape well and are in thin fabrics, that aren’t silk or any other slippery fabric and don’t require me to constantly readjust them.  My follow up questions to Lynn Maria are how big her scarves are and what they are made out of?  I would need to know this to advise further.

Next, Lynne asked this question about scarves:

Scarf with boobs/ 8 shape

I have this same body shape, big boobs and a defined waist.  People with this body shape need to be careful because too much bulk over the bust can be a nightmare.  There are a few things I suggest.  First, fabric: make sure it isn’t too bulky.  Thinner scarf fabrics will lay flatter on the body, as will scarves that aren’t too big.  Next, don’t wind your scarves to heavily around the neck and, if you can, let them drape more delicately down the front.  Scarves tied like bibs or in a voluminous way around the shoulders can also make  you look top heavy. Next, consider the rest of the outfit.  A scarf with your shape, Lynne, will look better if the outfit sits closer to the body.  The whole goal is to avoid building up the chest to look bigger than it already is.  What you can also consider is a lean monochromatic outfit with your scarves so that your body doesn’t look so curvy and full beneath it.  Make it more about the scarf than what you are wearing with it.  Create lean vertical lines with your scarves and outfits vs. bulky horizontal shapes.

Here is another scarf question from Deborah:

How to wear a scarf so it’s not always in the way of what I’m doing!

Deborah’s question is exactly why I always accessorize beyond just my scarf because, undoubtedly, I will remove it at some point.  Not all things can be done while wearing a scarf, it’s just a fact.  The key is to look at your life and figure out how realistic scarves are for you to wear.  Do you bend a lot, pick up kids all day, engage in a lot of physical movement?  Scarves will probably not work.  My next suggestion goes back to what I suggested to Lynn Maria earlier.  Make sure the scarves aren’t so bulky, that the fabrics drape well and aren’t too slippery.  Lastly, scarf pins to hold scarves in place may not be a bad idea.  What Deborah can also consider is wearing scarves in ways that aren’t so loosely draped.  Tying it a few times, like a choker, or wearing a scarf like an ascot may work better

Lastly, Gwen asked this great question about scarves and having a short neck:

How to wear a scarf with a short neck ( and being 5’2″)

If you have ever read my book Style Rx: Dressing the Body You Have to Create the Body You Want, then you know that I dedicated an entire chapter to dressing a short neck.   It’s hard to believe that this small body feature can wreak so much havoc on getting dressed, but it can.

Women with short necks should avoid anything that sits high on the neck, period.  Chokers?  No good.  Turtlenecks?  Not unless you want to look like a turtle.  And scarves?  Never wound multiple times around the neck.  Short necks need space to look longer.  Of course, I make these suggestions to help you make an informed choice, not to tell you that if you have a short neck you can’t wear turtlenecks or chokers.  However, when it comes to scarves and short necks, my suggestion would be to just let the scarf hang from the neck without winding it, or to wind it once but let it cowl around the chest vs. keeping it wound too tight.

Gwen is also petite at only 5’2″ so it is also important that not buy scarves that are too voluminous, heavy, thick or cumbersome.  I may sound like a broken record, but thinner drapier scarves that aren’t too long are best.

There are a lot of posts I have written in the past about scarves, so I am reposting them here as I am sure I have gone more in-depth about these questions in the past.

I still have a bunch more questions to get to and will do so in upcoming posts.  For now, feel free to ask your own questions about accessorizing in the comments or add your own two cents to the suggestions I made above.

How to wear a scarf

Five Fresh Ways to Wear Scarves this Fall

It’s a Wrap: How to Wrap a Pashmina Scarf

I’m off to check on the process of my hacked website now.  Urgh.