After a long and distinguished career, my mom retired at the end of this school year. As a reading specialist for decades, she taught countless children to read or improve their reading skills, and I can’t imagine a more admirable life’s work. As my mom enters this next chapter of her life, she is preparing to move to a different state and is currently downsizing.
Anyone who has moved will tell you it’s stressful and can be overwhelming. Boxing up an entire home makes you seriously consider why you’ve held on to so much for so long. People become much more discerning when transporting things from one home to the next. I once heard that the best way to keep your belongings manageable is to move every couple of years. Facing all that you own through the act of packing really puts the volume into perspective.
DOWNSIZING YOUR WARDROBE FOR THE UPCOMING SEASON
Unlike my mom, I have lived in the same apartment for nearly 27 years. As any New Yorker will tell you, once you secure a rent-stabilized apartment, you don’t give it up. Because my space is so small, it’s important to constantly keep a downsizing mentality, or else I’d get overwhelmed by clutter, and I hate clutter. If you ever meet my husband, ask him about how I read Christmas cards over the garbage can.
I think there is power in thinking about paring down a wardrobe in terms of downsizing instead of just purging. Purging implies getting rid of things you don’t wear or need, but downsizing implies making much harder and more rigorous choices for the sake of the bigger picture, whatever that may be for you. For some, the bigger picture is having more peace and space; for others, it’s achieving a sense of order. For others, it may be about focusing on what they value and find important. In this regard, downsizing means going beyond a simple purge and getting rid of things that could be considered useful but hamper your bigger picture and goals.
I am certainly not suggesting that anyone keep a wardrobe so austere that it resembles colonial times when people had two outfits—one for the week and one for church. Instead, I suggest taking a much harder look at why you keep what you do in your closet.
WHAT IF YOU WERE MOVING TOMORROW?
The next time you go through your closet, ask yourself, if you were to move tomorrow, what from your closet would make it into a box? Even I, who keep an incredibly small closet, can come up with around 25% of my wardrobe that I wouldn’t care about taking with me. This mindset can be very effective because considering moving an item from one place to the next can exhaust you. It’s one thing to have things out of sight, out of mind when they are tucked away in a dark corner of the closet, but quite another when you have to put physical energy into managing them.
YOU MIGHT NEED IT IN THE FUTURE, RIGHT?
Probably not, and if you do but decide to get rid of it anyway, so what? Sure, it’s disappointing to have given away something you wind up needing, but we put too much stock in wardrobe “what ifs.” Few things anyone gets rid of end up being a regret, and those regrets, while they may sting at first, are hardly world-ending. In some cases, you can get something similar to the item you gave away, and if that isn’t possible, the world will spin on without it. The perspective I am trying to give you is that those few and infrequent stings of giving away something you shouldn’t have are not worth the aggravation of dealing with a closet full of “what ifs.”
IF YOU’RE NOT 100% INTO SOMETHING YOU WON’T WEAR IT
I’ve mentioned this to clients before, but it bears repeating. When a client is iffy on an item but reluctant to let it go, I always ask, “Under what circumstance will you ever choose this item you feel so-so about over the things in your closet that serve the same purpose and you prefer more?” The best way to downsize is to eliminate these items that are second-rate to pieces you prefer more.
DO YOU HAVE TOO MUCH USEFULNESS?
I know it sounds crazy. You’ve curated a great wardrobe, so why would you get rid of any of it? I’ve seen this with clients, and I’ve even seen it with my mom, who is in the process of downsizing for her move. It’s not just unworkable or unusable stuff that people stockpile; it’s good stuff too. Unlike situations where the stuff clearly doesn’t belong, eliminating can be a much harder process.
I’m not trying to break down the hard work it took to build a wardrobe of things you love, but if it has gotten so large that it has become unmanageable, it ceases to be a workable wardrobe. To let go, you have to get really particular and weed out the low-rung pieces while determining what to keep based on how mix-and-matchable the pieces are. Too much, even when it is good, can create a sense of chaos and disorder. Downsizing the good can be just as effective as downsizing the bad.
YOU DON’T NEED A CLEAR WARDROBE VISION OR STYLE GOALS TO DOWNSIZE
When people don’t feel clear about their personal style, they can feel reluctant to let go and downsize. If you’re not clear, how do you know what needs to go? However, I offer a different perspective: What if getting rid of the things you don’t feel passionate about helps reveal what you are, thus telling a story about your style? I believe people instinctively know their style because I see this all the time with clients. Instead of being afraid to downsize when you feel unclear about your style, use the process as a fact-finding mission to allow your style to rise to the surface as you let go.
DOWNSIZING IS THE BEST WAY TO PREPARE FOR A NEW SEASON
Before you load your wardrobe with fresh things in the new season, take some time to downsize your wardrobe so you can be ready to add new things in a space that is ordered and directed.
When I left the office years ago, I pulled together all my skirted suits with blouses (and sometimes even the earrings) and hauled them all to Dress for Success. They were in style (at the time) and in great condition but didn’t need them for my new retirement life. I pictured them helping women ace their interviews and get their careers jumpstarted.
Now, it’s more like ‘one in, one out’. I can upgrade or replace but not add. And I still have too many clothes! I share 11,000 square ft condo with my husband. All my clothes (everything but coats) have to fit in one closet.
It’s work to get to this point, but worth it.
Hi Bridgette,
I especially love your advice about not needing a clear.vision before downsizing and how downsizing can help to clarify your style vision.
One of my downsizing concerns is outfit repeats. My style has some bold dramatic tendencies and some of my outfits are, shall we say, distinctive. Combined with the fairly small social scene in my area where there are always at least some familiar faces, I worry about wearing them too often and feel like they need to “rest” between wears lest others start thinking “she’s wearing that thing AGAIN?!?”
Perhaps frequency of wear is something you would consider addressing in a future post? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic.
Back when I was single and dating, I would track what I wore, where, with whom, in my calendar just to be sure I didn’t wear the same outfit on two dates with the same suitor. There are some fun memories looking back at one calendar I held onto!
But I don’t need that level now. I try to snap a selfie on my way out but often forget. I’m trying to get better at that. I need to feel better about outfit repeats. I wear a lot of dresses and carefully coordinated outfits that don’t mix and match well, so there’s not a lot of remixing that can be done.
Thanks for another great post and enjoy your hiatus!